"The pain that you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself."

I think that suits me well. I was told plenty of times to leave love alone. To leave it for the elders to deal with. But I am hard-headed and stubborn. I saw love coming, and instead of moving out of its path, I stood still and let is knock me down. I stood still and allowed myself to 'taste the pain that is reserved only for the strong'. Clearly I am far too weak to handle its wrath. But practice makes perfect? No. That can't possibly work with love. Are you supposed to fall in love a million times before you get it right? That can't work, people are lucky to fall in love once, let alone twice, three times.

"I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything, it was only enough to hurt us more."

This is hurting us more isn't it? The more I fall for you, the worse off we are. I want to stop, believe me, I truly do. I just cannot find it within myself to let you go. You haven't a clue the difficulty it is wanting to leave this time, and not being able to. Any other time, any other person; it would have been over already, I would have already left. I just don't understand why I can't stop loving you. This is very confusing. I don't understand. I feel like I'm back in my calculus class....if you could only see the look on my face. It something you see in a cartoon when Spongebob is explaining something to Patrick. I bet you understand that analogy. lol. That's exactly the way my face is right now.

"...everyday thinking bout you, looking at my own eyes in the rear view. Catchin flashbacks of our eye contact...I would hold you in my arms and ease your fears, I can't believe it; I ain't had a crush in years."

Well in years....maybe not, but its been a while. I think about you more than I thought I did. Ever have a habit that's so bad, you don't even realize when you're doing it? You are my habit. Thinking of you, is its action I guess you can call it.

Sighhh...I have no idea what I'm gunna do with you. But I'll let you know when I figure it out.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, being young and so full of emotions. I can see myself some decades back. Keep writing. You have the talent. Hone it and stoke it with your emotions...without forgetting about your youth.