Because I'm Not With You

"My day was good, and now I go home and it will be bad."
"Why will it be bad?"
"Because I'm not with you."

My days spent with you are like poetry. My moments with you are picture perfect. Every word you speak, sounds like music to me. My heartbeat, the rhythm. The birds, the wind---the melody.

Poetry, photography, music. Without any of them, my life is incomplete. When you're not there, the three are hardly present. It's hard for me to find a voice in something, let alone someone. You are that something, that someone. I used to write of everything that angers me, but now my writing has taken a turn. Now the words I write, are of what makes me happie. What keeps my heart beating at crazy rhythms. What makes my mind wonder. What makes me smile to myself at random moments.

"I'll take truth for $600."
"Who is what?"
"What is her."

lol jeopardy =0pp...

but yeah...what is you. You make me happie, you keep a smile on my face, even when I don't want to smile. And if the smile isn't on my face, it's definitely on my heart. Always will there be a smile on my heart when you're around. But it's when you're not there, when I'm not with you, that smile goes away. My heart is happie with you here, with me. But because I'm not with you, my heart tends to cry.

When I hear your voice, my heart does this thing, where it just won't slow down. I don't exactly know what that means. And when you look at me, it gets even faster and drops down into my tummy. I bet my tummy and heart are the best of friends by now. They are next to each other very often whenever you're there. I don't know how to control it. I don't even know if it can be controlled. For some reason, as awkward as it feels. . .having my heart drop down into my tummy. . .it's a feeling that I wish would happen more often. A feeling that I wish could be there all of the time. But it can't. Because I'm not always with you. Because I'm not with you, that feeling isn't there. I don't know where it goes, it's just not there. And I know it's because of your absence.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. BULLSHXT!!! It may make others grow fonder, it just makes mine like any other heart. Just there, beating. But when you are here, with me, the feeling I get, it's such a funnie, weird, xczhbvphwerqtkjqwlogkzxudygfapndg type of feeling. lol.

"Say what you want, but keep your lips sealed."

I stay quiet a lot of the time when your there, because I'd rather sit and look at you. Allow my mind to think of all the things that could be going through your mind. I let my mind figure all the sensations and emotions going through your body.

What does it mean, when I look at you, and smile? I'm happie. Where I stand, I have the most beautiful view. . . .even right next to the statue of liberty, my eyes would rather find its way to your eyes instead.

Because I'm not with you, my heart gets bored. My mind goes crazy searching for something else to give me that feeling, then gets upset when there's nothing.

Because I'm not with you. . .

. . . .I'm not the same.

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