Wednesday

Loves Language

Romeo:
O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
As a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear-
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows
As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.
The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand
And, touching hers, make blessed my rude hand.
Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

Roger Rabbit:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand. . .

Barry Manilow:
She is the love that flows in the breeze,
When I see her, in my tracks I must freeze.
When she has that look in her eye,
There is a beauty that I cannot deny.
She walks with the grace of a flying bird,
With a glance, she could stop a stampeding herd.

Odalis Athena:
Off the top of my head, and from the bottom of my heart...I think you're cooler than aliens that can do back flips ! enough said.

Tuesday

MIssing Monday. . .?!

Someone has brought to my attention that I missed a Monday on my blog. She claims that I am supposed to blog EVERY SINGLE MONDAY. She said that I don't have a choice. Really? That's not even fair.

Sooooooo I'm going to write yesterday's blog today. . .

Teenage Years ::

These are supposed to be the most fun years, why do they not feel that way as a teenager? Teenagers are supposed to be enjoying the young years. . .how in the world are we supposed to do that if your parents are jumping down your throat every ten seconds for every little thing? How can we enjoy life as a teenager if we are so prohibited from everything. There are fun things we can do, lots of fun things; but in all reality not many of us will be able to experience those fun things due to the overprotectiveness (just made up a new word :D) of our parents and guardians. They are either too strict or overprotective. Is there even a difference? I don't know but yeah. . .lol I think they should just go away for a while. You know how teachers have teachers conventions. . .there should be some sort of parent convention, where ALL parents go to and leave their children parent free. That could cause some kind of chaos but hey. . .let a kid be a kid, let a teenager have their fun. After all, it's our world when you're dead !! lol :D

Monday

Random Monday :: High School Years

High school years should not be full of tears.

From your freshmen days, all the way to your senior days is supposed to be the happiest days of your life. Hyperbole? Maybe just a little.

There will never be a day you walk down the halls of any high school and there's a smilee on every persons face. There will be at least one girl with mascara running down her cheeks, or puffy red eyes. There will be at least one guy that looks sooooo tense and uptight that any little thing will make him explode.

Why is it that when you're happie, it seems like the rest of the world is in like a SUPERRRR depression; but when you're down and superrrr depressed, it seems as though everyone around you couldn't be happier? Or is that just me?!

It's becoming more and more often I see tears running down the faces I care for most. And the main reason being because of little things. "High school" things. My boyfriend won't talk to me, he's keeping something from me, he's hiding his emotions from me. My girlfriend broke up with me...again! This time they were serious, it's really over. But then by the end of the night, the girlfriend is right back with them, and the boyfriend is right there talking to them again. (*it is possible, but not many people find there lifetime mate in high school. So chill out!!)

High school years should not be full of tears.

You shouldn't get so upset over the little things that go on within the halls. There should be smiles on your face for days. There should be laughter flowing from all directions. But there isn't.

Take too many pictures, laugh wayyy too much, and remember that every second you spend upset, sad, or depressed is a second of happiness you will NEVER get back.

High school years should not be full of tears.......remember that people !! :D

Random Monday :: Button

Let's see, I believe today's random thought would definitely involve the word button. I never realized how weird of a word it is. Button. It just sounds funnie after saying it a few times. Go ahead, say it. Button, button, button. Lol. I've noticed that when you say the word, you really don't say it how it's spelled. Most people would say button (buh-in). That is sooooo weird to me. I'm one of those people, but then when I tried to correct myself I honestly thought I was speaking another language. After realizing that I was saying the word button completely wrong, it made me wonder what other words do I use that are supposed to be pronounced one way, and I pronounce a totally different way. There are quite a few now that I think of it. I found out that it's damn near impossible for me to say the word favorite. I add a R in there, so when I say it, it comes out "fravorite". That's something I haven't been able to change since I've learned the word I believe. I remember when I was younger I could never say the word thirsty, I would say "stirsty". My dad hated it haha. I wonder what he'd do if I started to talk like that again.

Hmmmm......now that I think of it, what would the world do if at random moments the people of the world had this little glitch thingy in our DNA, that whenever we thought too much or was too stressed or angry even, our speech would just go right back when we were three or four. Haha can you imagine?!

"I'm having the absolute WORST day of my......goo goo ga ga!!"

Lol. That would be pretty funnie. Or at least I think it would be. Can you imagine attempting to go off on someone, and then your language just completely vanishes to the speech of a child?! Lol, I think that would make a pretty interesting argument.

I think if that actually did happen, the world would in fact be a better place. I mean people who HATE it when that happens would yell less, stress less, etc.... And new mothers would be able to communicate with their temper tantrum throwing toddlers wayyyyyy more easily lol.......

Sounds like a happie place to me, don't cha think?! Lol.

Friday

Happie?!

I think I can honestly say that I am happie again. No, there isn't a new love in my life. No, there isn't a new crush. No, there wasn't a complete makeover.

I dropped her. I left her completely alone, and I found my happiness again. Leaving her has opened the door for a group of wonderful girls to enter my life.

They know how to make me feel better when I'm having an off day. They can read me very clearly, they see right through my eyes into my heart. They together have helped restore the pieces of my terribly shattered heart. And they help me keep it in good shape.

I realized that I'm much happier with them then I ever was with her. She brought me down. She made me feel weak. Her misery rubbed off on me. Being around her tore me apart. With her was this feeling of loneliness. Her depression was so deep that it was able to grab me and pull me down with her. Surrounding her was this dark hole that would suck the life out of me. It drained my heart of any emotion. Ripped my mind of any positive thought. I had to drop her. I couldn't be around her any longer. With her, I was a wreck. Leaving her wasn't easy. I don't know how I did it. They helped me though.

They changed me. They made me smile. They helped me find happiness again. They sealed the wound she slashed open. They filled it with love and care. They filled me with life again. I have no idea how they did it. They made me feel good, they made me feel happie. There's no depression with them. There's no black hole of misery following and surrounding them when they walk. It's just them. It's impossible for one of them to be that way when there's soooooo many good spirits around them always there to make them feel better. They're always there for each other. There's always someone to talk to with them. They never hold anything against each other. They don;t hold grudges between them. They know the true meaning of a friend; and they set a god example of it.

They decided to share that with me.

Everyday they make me smile. I can see them and a smile comes to my face. A real smile. Not the smile I put on for most of the world to see. The smile that comes on my face when they're around holds such life in it. Holds such happiness behind it. If a smile doesn't appear in their presence they know the magic spell to make it come out of nowhere.....just POOF!

They are good people. They make me happie! ILYGUYSZZZ!

to all my readers.. ::

Well people of blogger.com =0]

I've taken my break, haven't written in a month...literally! I think my time is up and I should get back to my writing. I've decided to start a new thing...."Random Mondays." I take my most random thought monday morning and just blog about it. Mondays seem to be every one's weak point. Just getting back to the norm after the weekend, and most of the time your reminiscing from the nights before or still getting over it. Your thoughts go all over the place and you have the most RANDOM totally off guard thoughts. Or maybe that's just me! hehe. But anyways, I'll keep you all posted on those random thoughts of mine. They are usually pretty funnie, and I think I could use some type of comedy within my blogs!!

Tuesday

Still On My Brain

How can you get someone off of your mind? I thought the way to do it was to have someone else occupy your mind. That hasn't worked out very well. Why is it that the more you want something or someone rather off of your mind, is the longer they stay dancing around your brain?

Having you on my brain is worse than having a song stuck in my head. The song I know will go away as soon as another song is played. You I can't tell if it will ever go away. Just because another person comes along, doesn't mean that you will be pushed to the far back of my mind. No, I can't see that happening at all. You are still on my brain and I think that's my broken hearts side effect. You will forever be on my mind.

My mind wants me to go, and my heart wants to stay. I think the two of them made some sort of compromise. My heart can't have you so it convinced my mind to always be thinking of you. Not much of a fair compromise, but it just may be better to deal with it that way. Rather than driving you completely away and forcing myself to forget about you. Now that I think of it, that it would be nearly impossible with the type of person you are, and with the way I see you everyday.

Yeah.....good job heart of mine! Good call! hehe =0]

Monday

BLIND

"Are you blind? Can't you see me standing here, waiting in line for you? Are you mine? Not just when you want to be, all of the time? Are you? Are you blind? Don't you see me standing here? Won't you tell me what it is I'm waiting to find?"

I try my hardest to compose my emotions. It is becoming more and more difficult as each day passes. I try my hardest to make myself invisible to you, but I know I'm not; and that's what hurts. The fact that you can see me, and you just choose to not acknowledge it.

Where are you when I need you? Where can I find you? Will this game ever end? Will you ever come forth into the light? Where are you?

For so long I've tried my hardest to make you blind to my existence, but I know it doesn't work. But why won't it work? Why can't you go away? It's hard to leave you if you don't leave. It's hard to make you blind. So now I've turned the tables. I'm the one that's blind now. I'm the one that's gonna pretend I don't see you. I think it will be easier this way. I cannot change you, but I can change me. I do not know how hard it may be to make myself blind to your presence; but I will try. It's hard to not look in your direction, but so far; I've been okay. It is hard to turn my cheek; from a sight my eyes desire soooo badly. But so fat, I've been okay.

I'm okay.

Believe it when I say it. It may be a lie, but believe it. Maybe you just giving up will help me give up. But then again, knowing the way my heart operates, that may not be the best idea.

I'm trying so hard to make my heart okay with everything that's happening. Even though it's not. I'm trying so hard to make my mind take full control over my emotions. Even though it shouldn't be in control at all. I'm trying so hard, for you.

"Are you blind?"

Don't be blind anymore. Don't pretend to be blind anymore. Leave that up to me.

I think I can do it now.................

Friday

If It Kills Me

"And I was all alone with my hatred and the pain that was so bad it was like being tortured. Like being dragged slowly across a bed of razor blades. Pain so bad you'd take death with a smile just to get away from it."

Love hurts sooo bad. Bad enough to drive people insane. Bad enough to make people want to end they're lives.

"Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use. But I still can't say it after all we've been through. And all I really want from you is to feel me, as the feeling inside keeps building. And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me."

"For you....That's the strange thing. It's actually yours now. I don't know why it works this way, but I'm never gonna be able to get over you, and so from now on, every girl that I meet will be meticulously compared to you, and unfortunately none of them will be able to measure up to the false memory of what you and I once "had". Well maybe I can just keep it for a little while, and use it for small things like, I don't know, when I've had a really shitty day, or when I need someone to talk to, or if I need someone to move something really heavy, and then eventually, I'll give it back to you.....Unfortunately, it won't work that way....Why not?......Well, now that you have my heart, I'm pretty much an empty cavity inside, and for a lack of a better term, heartless. I will now treat each woman I meet with a passive aggressive contentiousness that will ruin relationship after relationship, for many years to come......."

You cannot live without your heart. If someone has your heart, you're gonna go to them; to get it back, to make sure they take care of it, or to just be there with them; because that's where your heart is. If your heart is with someone else, you're going to do everything you can to stay with your heart. Without your heart, you're dead. If your heart is happily beating in someone else's hands, your gonna leave it there. You're not going to take it and imprison it back within your ribcage. You're going to leave it there and push aside all the voices in your head. You're going to leave it there and completely ignore all the words they say that translate into "go away". You will leave your heart there in their hands. You will allow them to leave their fingerprints all over your heart from the way they squeezed so hard on it. You will allow them to step all over the chambers from their attempts to make your heart want to go away. You won't do a damn thing, because that's what your heart wants. That's where your heart wants to be. That's where your heart feels happie....for whatever reason.

"If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand."

Throw it, drop it, kick it, cut it, stab it, destroy it. It's still in your hands regardless.

"And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me.....it might kill me."

I'll try with all my might, to stay with my heart. I will swallow every word of hate that might want to slip from my lips. I will burst my eardrums just so that I won't have to hear the voices telling me to stop. I will smoke and drink my brain cells away just so that I won't have to ability to think of any reason to step away from what my heart wants. But eventually, deep down I can feel it, I will have to leave my heart behind....."it might kill me."

Thursday

Sweetdreams?

What is the purpose of dreams? I don't understand why your mind puts these images in your brain, disturbing your sleep. No one can sleep peacefully if there's a huge dinosaur looking monster heading towards your child after they've already eaten your parents. Sometimes you can't even sleep with dreams of your lover being played over and over in your mind. Don't you think it's even just a little annoying trying to get them out of your head during the day and having no control of dreaming about them in the night? Isn't it disturbing having dreams of people you've NEVER seen in your life? Or dreaming of terrible things happening to the most important people to you? Or maybe even dreaming of everything being sooo perfect? Doesn't that annoy anyone? Or is it just me? Having everything be so perfect when you sleep, but then when you wake up, you know it is nothing like what you've dreamt? Having nightmares that scare the hell out of you, and then when you wake up you're terrified to do things with the play-by-play of your dream dictating every move you make? What is the main purpose of dreams? Why can't your mind rest like the rest of your body? Why doesn't your mind sleep? Where does your mind get all of these random scenarios? Just a thought...

Monday

Connection

"So I'll drive so far away, that I never cross your mind. And do whatever it takes in your heart, to leave me behind."

I guess I didn't drive far enough. Boredom struck and 11:11 last night. I think of a list of people I should call, people I wouldn't mind talking to. None of them I call, but on my mind they remain. Just for a quick moment, you cross my mind. Before my eyes blink, your number appears on the phone.

"We still got that connection."

Is this something that will ever go away? Will there ever be a time when I think of you and take a quick glance at the phone and instantly you dial the numbers to my phone? How does that happen? That is like the weirdest thing ever. How many other people do you know that as soon as they think of that one person, they end up calling or texting, or showing up at your door step? That is very weird. There was even a time, it was 3 o'clock in the morning; I had a dream of you and for some strange reason looked at the phone...RING RING RING....it was you. I don't understand it.

How can I stop this?

Wednesday

The Twelve Days of School

(To be sang along with the melody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")
On the first day of school,
my teacher gave to me;
a desk with some gum underneath.
On the second day of school,
my teacher gave to me;
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the third day of school,
my teacher gave to me;
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the fourth day of school,
my teacher gave to me;
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the fifth day of school,
my teacher gave to me;
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the sixth day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the seventh day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
7 chewed up pencils,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the eighth day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
8 different lockers,
7 chewed up pencils,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the nineth day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
9 pop quizzes,
8 different lockers,
7 chewed up pencils,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the tenth day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
10 different projects,
9 pop quizzes,
8 different lockers,
7 chewed up pencils,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the eleventh day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
11 nasty tacos,
10 different projects,
9 pop quizzes,
8 different lockers
7 chewed up pencils,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
On the twelfth day of school,
my teacher gave to me,
12 stupid F's,
11 nasty tacos,
10 different projects,9 pop quizzes,
8 different lockers
7 chewed up pencils,
6 lousy partners,
5 worksheets,
4 broken crayons,
3 rotten apples,
2 pink erasers,
and a desk with some gum underneath.
.....it's time to go back to school....woo hooo!!!....(that was sarcasm) =0D