BLIND

"Are you blind? Can't you see me standing here, waiting in line for you? Are you mine? Not just when you want to be, all of the time? Are you? Are you blind? Don't you see me standing here? Won't you tell me what it is I'm waiting to find?"

I try my hardest to compose my emotions. It is becoming more and more difficult as each day passes. I try my hardest to make myself invisible to you, but I know I'm not; and that's what hurts. The fact that you can see me, and you just choose to not acknowledge it.

Where are you when I need you? Where can I find you? Will this game ever end? Will you ever come forth into the light? Where are you?

For so long I've tried my hardest to make you blind to my existence, but I know it doesn't work. But why won't it work? Why can't you go away? It's hard to leave you if you don't leave. It's hard to make you blind. So now I've turned the tables. I'm the one that's blind now. I'm the one that's gonna pretend I don't see you. I think it will be easier this way. I cannot change you, but I can change me. I do not know how hard it may be to make myself blind to your presence; but I will try. It's hard to not look in your direction, but so far; I've been okay. It is hard to turn my cheek; from a sight my eyes desire soooo badly. But so fat, I've been okay.

I'm okay.

Believe it when I say it. It may be a lie, but believe it. Maybe you just giving up will help me give up. But then again, knowing the way my heart operates, that may not be the best idea.

I'm trying so hard to make my heart okay with everything that's happening. Even though it's not. I'm trying so hard to make my mind take full control over my emotions. Even though it shouldn't be in control at all. I'm trying so hard, for you.

"Are you blind?"

Don't be blind anymore. Don't pretend to be blind anymore. Leave that up to me.

I think I can do it now.................