The strong desire to strangely develop amnesia. To suddenly forget how much I loved you. To forget how much I liked you. How much I really cared. I wish I could magically forget all the dreams I dreamt of you. Instantly forget the long night talks, that went straight to my heart.
"If I had one wish. One wish, one wish, one wish."
To forget. To forget the high hopes I had. To forget the thoughts of us being together....ever. To forget the way that I loved you. Forget the way I thought it felt so right. To forget. To no longer remember the pain it all causes to remember. To forget how it all began, even more, how it ended. To forget the days I ignored the voices telling me no. To forget the days I gave into the voices telling me not to give up. To forget the days when your voice lured me back to planet Pluto. To forget the days when your touch shot hurricanes of happiness through my veins. To forget it all. To believe it never happened. To believe it was all just my imagination. To know that it was all a beautiful nightmare. To forget everything. Anything and everything that makes my heart want to come right back to you. Anything and everything that makes my heart want to jump right back out and into your hands. To forget....you.
Monday
Friday
Just Friends
"I think I could like you, but I keep holding back, cause I can't seem to tell if you're fiction or fact."
You want to be with me, this you've made clear. If you didn't our conversation wouldn't be so intimate. Baby isn't a name used for "just a friend". A kiss in certain places aren't meant for "just friends" to have. An 'I love you' isn't to be said the way it has been said to a "friend". The tension between us is impossible to be lust. Lust doesn't last very long. We've been at this for years now. So lust is out of the question. But it isn't love either. So what exactly is it then?
"More than friends, less than lovers."
That seems very true. There's something stopping us from being more than friends. Her. Why is she still on your arm? Why haven't you told her yet? It can't be because you love her, I find that impossible now. You haven't made it clear in any way that she is the one you love. So why? Why haven't you left her yet? Is it really that difficult to tell her how you truly feel? She can't be that difficult, and I know she doesn't have that kind of control over you. So why? The only thing I can think of is that you must not mean the things you say. If you do, then why is she still between us? Only reason I have, is that you really don't want to be with me. If I'm wrong, wouldn't we be together by now? I don't know, it's hard to read you. It's hard to tell what you want now, because she's still in the picture.
When you figure it out, let me know.
You want to be with me, this you've made clear. If you didn't our conversation wouldn't be so intimate. Baby isn't a name used for "just a friend". A kiss in certain places aren't meant for "just friends" to have. An 'I love you' isn't to be said the way it has been said to a "friend". The tension between us is impossible to be lust. Lust doesn't last very long. We've been at this for years now. So lust is out of the question. But it isn't love either. So what exactly is it then?
"More than friends, less than lovers."
That seems very true. There's something stopping us from being more than friends. Her. Why is she still on your arm? Why haven't you told her yet? It can't be because you love her, I find that impossible now. You haven't made it clear in any way that she is the one you love. So why? Why haven't you left her yet? Is it really that difficult to tell her how you truly feel? She can't be that difficult, and I know she doesn't have that kind of control over you. So why? The only thing I can think of is that you must not mean the things you say. If you do, then why is she still between us? Only reason I have, is that you really don't want to be with me. If I'm wrong, wouldn't we be together by now? I don't know, it's hard to read you. It's hard to tell what you want now, because she's still in the picture.
When you figure it out, let me know.
Thoughts
"I think could like you, I already do. Feelings can grow but they can go away too."
So the feelings are gone, or at least I want them to be. And it's no secret she feels the same way as well. Hoping that they go away, wishing they never came about in the first place.
"And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays."
I was warned, but blinded I was. My heart made the decision before my mind could register what was really happening. By then it was already too late, my heart jumped too fast. Straight into disaster.
"It was wrong to stay with you when we want such different things."
I should have known better. I don't know why I stood there, allowing all of this to happen. I'm sure around that time my mind was long gone, through with over thinking the situation.
"I've givin' so much in the past, for a love I never had. I'm through with it, through with it love...I'm finally giving it up."
She said it's possible to be sick of love because you feel like it's not working or not meant for you. That it's only a temporary feeling, and that it's only until I find someone deserving of me I'd really understand that before the love I had just wasn't the love for me, it was there just not compatible with my heart. It sounds about right, but I think it'll be easier to just give up all around.
"It's either laugh or cry, and I prefer to laugh."
The things you hesitate to tell me may hurt, but it hurts even more you holding it back from me. It's bad enough I can't I have you, it makes it worse that you can't talk to me either. You make me cry, but eventually I end up smiling. So don't worry about me, it only hurts even more that you worry so much. It may be hard to understand but you worrying so much and me still not being yours makes it hurt to wonder why you worry so much if I'm not yours.
.....just a thought.
So the feelings are gone, or at least I want them to be. And it's no secret she feels the same way as well. Hoping that they go away, wishing they never came about in the first place.
"And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays."
I was warned, but blinded I was. My heart made the decision before my mind could register what was really happening. By then it was already too late, my heart jumped too fast. Straight into disaster.
"It was wrong to stay with you when we want such different things."
I should have known better. I don't know why I stood there, allowing all of this to happen. I'm sure around that time my mind was long gone, through with over thinking the situation.
"I've givin' so much in the past, for a love I never had. I'm through with it, through with it love...I'm finally giving it up."
She said it's possible to be sick of love because you feel like it's not working or not meant for you. That it's only a temporary feeling, and that it's only until I find someone deserving of me I'd really understand that before the love I had just wasn't the love for me, it was there just not compatible with my heart. It sounds about right, but I think it'll be easier to just give up all around.
"It's either laugh or cry, and I prefer to laugh."
The things you hesitate to tell me may hurt, but it hurts even more you holding it back from me. It's bad enough I can't I have you, it makes it worse that you can't talk to me either. You make me cry, but eventually I end up smiling. So don't worry about me, it only hurts even more that you worry so much. It may be hard to understand but you worrying so much and me still not being yours makes it hurt to wonder why you worry so much if I'm not yours.
.....just a thought.
Monday
Fairytales & The Supernatural
Let me tell you a thing or two about fairytales and things of the supernatural. It's nice to have a vision, of being able to fall madly in love with someone regardless of how much the sea king may dismiss the idea of you ever going back to see this person EVER again. It can paint a fun picture knowing that there will ALWAYS be someone there to argue with you because of your differences, but eventually fall in love with them. It can make anyone feel special to have someone, that in their nature they are set out to hurt you. . .but they wont, because they love you. It can make life so much easier to have all of this. But the chances of that actually happening are slim to none. Because when you find your way back to reality, you'll see that the way movies and books tell the stories of love and happie ever afters are soo far from the way it really is. Finding that prince Eric makes the chances of winning the lottery 7 to 10. Actually meeting that angry yet gentle beast and having the chance to stay with him are impossible. The chances of catching the eye of that Edward Cullen and having him be yours forever, are a never. There is no such thing as a happie ever after. There never will be a wish upon a star that comes true. There are no happie endings in life's story, unless your life is clear fiction. There's never going to be an everlasting lovee. A fairytales main purpose is to make you believe that there is something far better than what your living now. To make you live in hope rather than misery. but for how long will you last in hope before it turns into misery?!
Dear Odalis
"I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating."
Yes I did not listen, but it's okay. I feel fine now, I think. I can't cry anymore, and I'm no longer bleeding. It hurts, yes; but it was something I had to do I guess. I don't listen because you're never right. You always tell me to leave, and when I do, I feel even more hurt than I would have been if I just stayed. I didn't want to do that this time. I saw something in her, and although it didn't last, at least I know I tried this time.
"The pain you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself."
Yeah that's true as well, but I'll be okay, with time it'll all just go away. I didn't have to go through any of this, but it would have happened eventually I'm sure. She warned me, along with everyone else. I can't blame anyone but myself, so I won't. I tried this new thing when I didn't give into peer pressure at the wrong time I guess. Love may not be meant for me, but at least I can say that I've tried, and I didn't give up. I didn't allow anyone to pull me away from her. I didn't let you overpower my way of feeling. Love is just love, nothing more nothing less? That's true, I can't make love mean anymore than it does. I can't change it anymore than it has been changed. More scars and bruises are left, but it's alright. Time heals all wounds, no matter how long it takes, I will be better. Don't hurt yourself anymore because of me, you made a promise you wouldn't. Stick to it, or then she'll really leave. And then I'd really be hurt.
Sunday
Dear Heart
Now what? You didn't want to listen to me. I told you to go, but you didn't listen. Now look at you. Crying. Bleeding uncontrollably. Hurt, again! Hard-headed, stupid, and foolish you are. Why didn't you listen? This all could have been avoided. You didn't have to go through this.
"The pain that you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself."
You should realize that. And you better not blame her for this either. She told you ahead of time not to do this. She didn't come right out and tell you. But she did send her subliminal messages. You ignored them. "I don't want your feelings to get any stronger for me." aka....don't let yourself continue what you're doing. aka....step the fuck back. aka....STOP NOW! But you didn't listen. Why didn't you listen? For once, can you just listen to what I tell you so I won't have to think of new ways to hurt myself to heal your pain? For once, can you just listen when I say 'this won't end up the way you think it will'? For once, just once; listen to me. If you listened I wouldn't be dxmn near killing myself now to end your pain. You're ridiculous. It's impossible for you to be happie with someone else. Get it through your chambers. . .you're not meant for love.
"The pain that you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself."
You should realize that. And you better not blame her for this either. She told you ahead of time not to do this. She didn't come right out and tell you. But she did send her subliminal messages. You ignored them. "I don't want your feelings to get any stronger for me." aka....don't let yourself continue what you're doing. aka....step the fuck back. aka....STOP NOW! But you didn't listen. Why didn't you listen? For once, can you just listen to what I tell you so I won't have to think of new ways to hurt myself to heal your pain? For once, can you just listen when I say 'this won't end up the way you think it will'? For once, just once; listen to me. If you listened I wouldn't be dxmn near killing myself now to end your pain. You're ridiculous. It's impossible for you to be happie with someone else. Get it through your chambers. . .you're not meant for love.
Friday
idkkk...?
"The pain that you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself."
I think that suits me well. I was told plenty of times to leave love alone. To leave it for the elders to deal with. But I am hard-headed and stubborn. I saw love coming, and instead of moving out of its path, I stood still and let is knock me down. I stood still and allowed myself to 'taste the pain that is reserved only for the strong'. Clearly I am far too weak to handle its wrath. But practice makes perfect? No. That can't possibly work with love. Are you supposed to fall in love a million times before you get it right? That can't work, people are lucky to fall in love once, let alone twice, three times.
"I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything, it was only enough to hurt us more."
This is hurting us more isn't it? The more I fall for you, the worse off we are. I want to stop, believe me, I truly do. I just cannot find it within myself to let you go. You haven't a clue the difficulty it is wanting to leave this time, and not being able to. Any other time, any other person; it would have been over already, I would have already left. I just don't understand why I can't stop loving you. This is very confusing. I don't understand. I feel like I'm back in my calculus class....if you could only see the look on my face. It something you see in a cartoon when Spongebob is explaining something to Patrick. I bet you understand that analogy. lol. That's exactly the way my face is right now.
"...everyday thinking bout you, looking at my own eyes in the rear view. Catchin flashbacks of our eye contact...I would hold you in my arms and ease your fears, I can't believe it; I ain't had a crush in years."
Well in years....maybe not, but its been a while. I think about you more than I thought I did. Ever have a habit that's so bad, you don't even realize when you're doing it? You are my habit. Thinking of you, is its action I guess you can call it.
Sighhh...I have no idea what I'm gunna do with you. But I'll let you know when I figure it out.
=0pp
I think that suits me well. I was told plenty of times to leave love alone. To leave it for the elders to deal with. But I am hard-headed and stubborn. I saw love coming, and instead of moving out of its path, I stood still and let is knock me down. I stood still and allowed myself to 'taste the pain that is reserved only for the strong'. Clearly I am far too weak to handle its wrath. But practice makes perfect? No. That can't possibly work with love. Are you supposed to fall in love a million times before you get it right? That can't work, people are lucky to fall in love once, let alone twice, three times.
"I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything, it was only enough to hurt us more."
This is hurting us more isn't it? The more I fall for you, the worse off we are. I want to stop, believe me, I truly do. I just cannot find it within myself to let you go. You haven't a clue the difficulty it is wanting to leave this time, and not being able to. Any other time, any other person; it would have been over already, I would have already left. I just don't understand why I can't stop loving you. This is very confusing. I don't understand. I feel like I'm back in my calculus class....if you could only see the look on my face. It something you see in a cartoon when Spongebob is explaining something to Patrick. I bet you understand that analogy. lol. That's exactly the way my face is right now.
"...everyday thinking bout you, looking at my own eyes in the rear view. Catchin flashbacks of our eye contact...I would hold you in my arms and ease your fears, I can't believe it; I ain't had a crush in years."
Well in years....maybe not, but its been a while. I think about you more than I thought I did. Ever have a habit that's so bad, you don't even realize when you're doing it? You are my habit. Thinking of you, is its action I guess you can call it.
Sighhh...I have no idea what I'm gunna do with you. But I'll let you know when I figure it out.
=0pp
Tuesday
Dear Odalis
I want her, and only her. I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm loving, that's what I'm supposed to do. I can't stop liking her, because she hasn't stopped liking me. I'm not going to leave, I'm tired of running away. I love her because she's there, she's not going to leave, regardless of what she says, how she feels. I'm safe here in her hands. I know I am. She doesn't really want me to stop liking her, she just thinks she does because she thinks it will make things easier. I'm not going to leave, I'm not. I won't. I don't know if I'll ever go back to normal, she's changed me so much. I'm never leaving her. I'll stay here as long as she wants me here, and I know that will be for as long as I continue beating. I can't leave her, then I would really be hurt. Her smile, the way she loves me, the way she cares for me, she's always there. That's why I love her, along with many many many other reasons. I'm not going away, I just can't. It won't make her life more simple leaving her. I'm not making it more difficult, I'm making it better by being here. I'm not making it worse. She will worry regardless. She'll always hide her feelings. She'll always have troubles. She'll always have something to think about. I'm not being selfish. She is happie. Just not as happie as she wants to be. With me she is happie. Along with confused and lost and many other emotions. But she's mainly happie. She is happie with me there, I know it. I am helping her get on with life, because I am apart of her life. If I leave, she won't be happie at all. She'll be hurt, very hurt. I can't stop. I WON'T STOP!
Dear Corazon
What do you want? Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you have to continue liking her? Why can't you leave like my mind wants you to? Why do you love her so much? Why can't you just slip out of her hands, jump back into my body? I don't understand. Why can't you do what she wants? Just stop falling, and falling, and falling. I don't get it. Why can't you just leave it alone? Will you ever get back to normal? Will you ever leave her? How long will you stay there? I just don't understand why you won't leave her. What is it about her? Why won't you just go? Why don't you just leave her alone, make her life more simple? Don't you know that you're making things more difficult for her? That's all your doing. You're giving her more things to worry about. More feelings to hide, more trouble, more things to think about. You seem very selfish right now. Not going away just so that you can be happie. What about her? She's not happie with you there. You're not helping her get along with life like you should be, you're making it worse. I don't understand you, how could you be so selfish? Just STOP!
Sunday
Love For All Seasons
". . .I recently decided that I'm not giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause."
I don't have it in me to give up. So I won't. Besides, because of the fact that everyone thinks that I should just give it up already makes me want to stay even more. As a rebel, I usually do the opposite of what people tell me to do. lol. But tell me to love you, I bet that's one thing I will do; now and forever more.
I don't know what it is about you. You're the person that kicks someone and then tell them you love them lol. Most of the time I'm that person. =0p. When you're not here, it's unheard of how much I miss you.
I can't think of anything that occupies my mind as much as you. Anyone who I took the time to like, like I did with you. I can't think of anyone else who I let my heart go to naturally, as opposed to forcing it.
"When you're near me, I don't know what to do, I feel like a fool. . ."
My thoughts are so mixed with you around. You don't have to be there in person to still have that affect on me. We can be on the phone and your voice will send my body into an instant shiver.
"I'll be your rain in the summer, your chill in the fall. I'll be what you want, anything at all."
This summer has been one of my favorites. Usually I would absolutely HATE summer vacations. There would be absolutely nothing to do. No one to talk to. This summer, I saw you. A lot. I didn't think I would. I thought that over the summer our feelings would fade. They got stronger...that surprises me. I tried my best to keep the feeling neutral. . .that went wayyyyy differently in my mind. haha. Come this fall, I can only hope, my feelings stay the same, and bring us even closer. But my doubts are still there. You know why.
"I'll be your fire in the winter, the sun in your spring. I'll do what you want, give you everything."
Boy oh boy, winter. Not one of my favorite seasons, but your love will keep me warm. And as I, you. You will hold as long as I need to be held. Yes, my Angel will keep me safe, until the storm has passed. Spring, the best season there is. Exactly after spring break---"I remember". I will never forget.
"I'll be there for you, keeping you warm, through the storm. I'll guide you, stand by you. Until the stars fall from the sky. . .You don't have to search no more. You don't have to dream. . .what I've got inside for you, is more than you'll ever need. You don't have to search no more, my heart is yours. For real, for sure."
Love for all seasons, love for all time.
I don't have it in me to give up. So I won't. Besides, because of the fact that everyone thinks that I should just give it up already makes me want to stay even more. As a rebel, I usually do the opposite of what people tell me to do. lol. But tell me to love you, I bet that's one thing I will do; now and forever more.
I don't know what it is about you. You're the person that kicks someone and then tell them you love them lol. Most of the time I'm that person. =0p. When you're not here, it's unheard of how much I miss you.
I can't think of anything that occupies my mind as much as you. Anyone who I took the time to like, like I did with you. I can't think of anyone else who I let my heart go to naturally, as opposed to forcing it.
"When you're near me, I don't know what to do, I feel like a fool. . ."
My thoughts are so mixed with you around. You don't have to be there in person to still have that affect on me. We can be on the phone and your voice will send my body into an instant shiver.
"I'll be your rain in the summer, your chill in the fall. I'll be what you want, anything at all."
This summer has been one of my favorites. Usually I would absolutely HATE summer vacations. There would be absolutely nothing to do. No one to talk to. This summer, I saw you. A lot. I didn't think I would. I thought that over the summer our feelings would fade. They got stronger...that surprises me. I tried my best to keep the feeling neutral. . .that went wayyyyy differently in my mind. haha. Come this fall, I can only hope, my feelings stay the same, and bring us even closer. But my doubts are still there. You know why.
"I'll be your fire in the winter, the sun in your spring. I'll do what you want, give you everything."
Boy oh boy, winter. Not one of my favorite seasons, but your love will keep me warm. And as I, you. You will hold as long as I need to be held. Yes, my Angel will keep me safe, until the storm has passed. Spring, the best season there is. Exactly after spring break---"I remember". I will never forget.
"I'll be there for you, keeping you warm, through the storm. I'll guide you, stand by you. Until the stars fall from the sky. . .You don't have to search no more. You don't have to dream. . .what I've got inside for you, is more than you'll ever need. You don't have to search no more, my heart is yours. For real, for sure."
Love for all seasons, love for all time.
Saturday
Apologies
I can sit here and apologize, for liking you the way I do. Going against your wishes. You don't want me to get hurt. You know loving you will hurt me. I'm sorry I can no longer control my emotions. I'm sorry I can't comply to your rules. I've put too much into you to just take it all back. That may not be what you meant last night, but that's how I understood it. You don't want me to have any type of feelings towards you. I'm sorry. I can't help it.
People say I'm a fool for allowing my heart to fall for your traps. They say I'm pretti dumb to think that you could feel the way you say you feel towards me. Apologies go out to them to, for not listening to them either. Plenty of times my mind thought to give in to their words. But my heart was still in your hands. I can't try to persuade my heart if I don't have it.
I don't want you to give my heart back. If you put it back, it won't be the same. I'm sorry.
As the tears stroll down my cheeks, I wonder why I still love you? Why I still care? I don't know the reasons for any of this anymore. My mind has given up trying to find reasons as to why my heart feels the way it does. I'm sorry. I just do. I don't think there's a reasonable reason anymore. I just like you. I'm sorry. I just love you. I'm sorry.
People say that the way I feel, the way I get when I'm around you---I'm in love. But I refuse to think, believe, and admit that I'm in love with someone who does not feel the same way towards me. I've done that too many times before and an unhappie ending it was. That's not what I want this time around. I'm sorry.
I love you for who you are, the simple things you do. I'm sorry. I cannot help it. It's something I no longer have control over. Don't tell me to not feel the way I do.....
I'm sorry, but I just can't do that.
People say I'm a fool for allowing my heart to fall for your traps. They say I'm pretti dumb to think that you could feel the way you say you feel towards me. Apologies go out to them to, for not listening to them either. Plenty of times my mind thought to give in to their words. But my heart was still in your hands. I can't try to persuade my heart if I don't have it.
I don't want you to give my heart back. If you put it back, it won't be the same. I'm sorry.
As the tears stroll down my cheeks, I wonder why I still love you? Why I still care? I don't know the reasons for any of this anymore. My mind has given up trying to find reasons as to why my heart feels the way it does. I'm sorry. I just do. I don't think there's a reasonable reason anymore. I just like you. I'm sorry. I just love you. I'm sorry.
People say that the way I feel, the way I get when I'm around you---I'm in love. But I refuse to think, believe, and admit that I'm in love with someone who does not feel the same way towards me. I've done that too many times before and an unhappie ending it was. That's not what I want this time around. I'm sorry.
I love you for who you are, the simple things you do. I'm sorry. I cannot help it. It's something I no longer have control over. Don't tell me to not feel the way I do.....
I'm sorry, but I just can't do that.
Venting
Sighhhhh. I love her. I love her not. I love her. I love her not.
For someone I love so much, she sure knows how to make me rethink the reasons why I love her. Always leaves me thinking why I bother.
"If you're gunna hurt me, then do it quickly."
If you know that somewhere down the line you're going to hurt me, if you know that eventually you're going to fck up, why bother? Why still put up with me? Why not just leave now? You don't want me to leave, DON'T GIVE ME A REASON TO!!! You don't want this to be the end, DON'T GIVE ME A REASON TO MAKE IT BE!!!!!
You have fears inside. You're starting to do the same exact thing I used to do. STOP allowing your mind to over think everything. It's only going to make things worse at the end. You're loving with your mind. STOP IT! Don't do that to yourself. It makes everything hurt more, you should listen to me, I'm one to know. You're ignoring you're heart. I understand you're confused. You love me, you love him. I get that you don't know which one you're better off with; but STOP getting in the mind state that something is going to go wrong. If you think negative, sweetheart that's all that will happen.
"Love, so many things I've got to tell you. But I'm afraid I don't know how, 'cause there's a possibility that you'll look at me differently."
Why can't you accept the fact that I like you? Why can't you accept that me liking you is not going to change? You don't want me to like you, just because you don't want to hurt me. You can hurt me, that is true. But that's a part of loving someone.
"Loving someone is giving them ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to."
I love you very much, but the things you do sometimes just makes me want to leave. Never to return. I honestly don't want to do that. Don't make me. I'm not saying that the reasons I leave will be all at your fault, but the things you say, the things you do; they influence that decision more than you may think.
I have no idea what to do with you. The people I turn to tell me that there's nothing I can do. As a control freak, you can't imagine how much that drives me insane.
If you feel the way you do, let it rock. Don't think about it. Let your heart take care of things. Don't put your mind to do unnecessary work. That's what you're doing at the moment, you should know that. I'm not saying don't think about anything you do, don't think so much about it that you feel the need to just drop it. Feel the need to just drop me.
Stop thinking about it. Just feel. Just love.
For someone I love so much, she sure knows how to make me rethink the reasons why I love her. Always leaves me thinking why I bother.
"If you're gunna hurt me, then do it quickly."
If you know that somewhere down the line you're going to hurt me, if you know that eventually you're going to fck up, why bother? Why still put up with me? Why not just leave now? You don't want me to leave, DON'T GIVE ME A REASON TO!!! You don't want this to be the end, DON'T GIVE ME A REASON TO MAKE IT BE!!!!!
You have fears inside. You're starting to do the same exact thing I used to do. STOP allowing your mind to over think everything. It's only going to make things worse at the end. You're loving with your mind. STOP IT! Don't do that to yourself. It makes everything hurt more, you should listen to me, I'm one to know. You're ignoring you're heart. I understand you're confused. You love me, you love him. I get that you don't know which one you're better off with; but STOP getting in the mind state that something is going to go wrong. If you think negative, sweetheart that's all that will happen.
"Love, so many things I've got to tell you. But I'm afraid I don't know how, 'cause there's a possibility that you'll look at me differently."
Why can't you accept the fact that I like you? Why can't you accept that me liking you is not going to change? You don't want me to like you, just because you don't want to hurt me. You can hurt me, that is true. But that's a part of loving someone.
"Loving someone is giving them ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to."
Your goal isn't to hurt me, then why tell me that eventually, that's all that will happen? You'd be the one to let that happen. You have the power to hurt me. I'm trusting you not to. If you want to lose my trust, go right ahead---hurt me already. Yes, I know that we will fight. I know we will want to bite each other's head off at times. But that's not the hurt you nor I are fighting over now.
I love you very much, but the things you do sometimes just makes me want to leave. Never to return. I honestly don't want to do that. Don't make me. I'm not saying that the reasons I leave will be all at your fault, but the things you say, the things you do; they influence that decision more than you may think.
I have no idea what to do with you. The people I turn to tell me that there's nothing I can do. As a control freak, you can't imagine how much that drives me insane.
If you feel the way you do, let it rock. Don't think about it. Let your heart take care of things. Don't put your mind to do unnecessary work. That's what you're doing at the moment, you should know that. I'm not saying don't think about anything you do, don't think so much about it that you feel the need to just drop it. Feel the need to just drop me.
Stop thinking about it. Just feel. Just love.
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